Express Emotion Using Your Emotional Style

express-expressPeople high in this emotional wealth habit typically …

  • Understand and effectively express how they feel about various issues; that is, in the right way, to the right degree and at the right time.
  • Effectively utilise and are confident in using non-verbal emotional cues, for example, body language and tone of voice, to communicate how they feel.
  • Create greater understanding about themselves amongst their colleagues.
  • Are described by colleagues as “genuine and trustworthy”.

The ability to express emotion will help you to…

UNDERSTAND: How difficult it can be to give up old habits.

DO:

  • Know my emotional style – Express effectively how you feel
  • Work on my EAR-Identity – Be aware of your emotional “triggers”
  • Use the GAP – Get accurate perceptions and end emotional constipation

DO NOT:

  • Be ignorant of my emotional style – We each experience our emotion differently
  • Become emotionally constipated – Listen to your body, it is telling you something
  • Express my emotions inappropriately – Express how you feel at the appropriate time

MEASURE SUCCESS:

You have been successful expressing emotion when you see yourself

  • Expressing how you feel to others to build greater trust with colleagues
  • Adjusting your beliefs, values, and expectations that cause you pain
  • Putting a “GAP” between events and your responses

UNDERSTAND:

Human beings have an enormous capacity for self-judgement. Mackay & Fanning[1] (2000) wrote: “One of the main factors differentiating humans from other animals is the awareness of self: the ability to form an identity and then attach a value to it.” When your inner voice judges and rejects you, you damage the psychological structures that literally keep you alive. Prolonged self-judgement can result in lowered self-esteem. As stress rises, self-esteem decreases, and vice versa.

Get to know your own brain; how you process emotion. Be aware of the cause of your emotions and use the GAP – Get Accurate Perceptions of events!

THE BOTTOM LINE IS:

GET TO KNOW AND USE YOUR EMOTIONAL STYLE

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[1] McKay, M & Fanning, P 2000, Self-Esteem, 3rd ed, New Harbinger Publications, USA

About Dr. Mike Gosling

Best known for creating The Emotional Leader Program, Mike is a leading Executive Coach, editor of this blog, and Co-Founder of RelationshipsMe.com. Connect with him on Twitter, at Facebook, and LinkedIn.