Often we see the another person’s behavior as wrong and our behavior as right. Have you ever thought to yourself, “How could he do this to me?”. In this way we can blame others when things go wrong and do not take responsibility for our responses. To elevate emotional well-being each of us needs to be aware of who we are to raise our emotional awareness. Evaluating your emotional landscape and affirming who you are – what your memories, beliefs, values, thoughts, and expectations (events) are – and taking ownership of your resulting emotions or behaviors (responses), is empowering.
We call this your EAR-Identity. EAR-Identity is who you are. Events occurring in your life are appraised by you, which generate a response. Often the impact of your response can be overwhelming, both to yourself and to others, causing severe physiological distress felt in your body.
If you have an avoidant emotional style you will feel predominantly anxious, bewildered, and personally attacked. You will run for your burrow to ‘avoid’ perceived threats to you and your environment.
If you have a reactive emotional style you will feel predominantly frustration, irritation, and anger from perceived threats to who you are.
If you can identify and affirm your EAR-Identity, and begin to change it cognitively, you will soon be on the road to reaching a new level of self-understanding and greater effectiveness in your personal and professional life.