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Recognize Emotion In Yourself And Others

February 6, 2013 By Dr. Mike Gosling

recognize-emotionPeople high in this emotional wealth habit typically …

  • Are open to emotions; they are attentive to whether words, voice tone, and body language match.
  • Are good at picking up when people are saying something that differs from reality. For example, they can tell if a colleague is not feeling ok even if she says otherwise.
  • Pay attention and pick up on the mood of a room or their environment
  • Generally not surprised when people tell them how they feel about certain experiences or events.
  • Are adept at reading others’ verbal and non-verbal emotional cues at work.

The ability to recognize emotion will help you to…

UNDERSTAND: How difficult it can be to ASK.

DO:

  • Recognize how I and others are feeling – Am I open to and can I read emotion data?
  • Ask others about my perceptions – What one behaviour do I want to change?
  • Be open to FeedForward[1]/feedback – How can I increase my self-awareness?

DO NOT:

  • Ignore emotions as a source of data – about me, others, and my environment
  • Be rigid and blocked – be flexible and develop your tolerance for ambiguity
  • Be dismissive, defensive, or doubtful – Ask to elicit honest responses

MEASURE SUCCESS:

You have been successful recognizing emotion when others see you:

  • Choosing one behaviour you will improve on, recognizing how you and others feel
  • Changing your mood after recognizing the impact it is having on others
  • Opening up to stakeholders as true coaches for your self-improvement

UNDERSTAND:

How difficult it can be to ASK. Why don’t we ask for feedback more often? The number one reason is: We are afraid of what we’re going to hear, whether we know what we are going to hear or not. For example: delaying getting a medical diagnosis, postponing a dental appointment, and waiting to ask for feedback regarding how we are doing as leaders – procrastinating. Feedback is looking back. Successful people like getting ideas that are aimed at helping them achieve their goals (FeedForward). How open are you to asking?

THE BOTTOM LINE IS:

ASKING FOR FEEDFORWARD/FEEDBACK TAKES COURAGE

personal-online-coaching


[1] Wagner, F Coffey, C & Goldsmith, M 2003, Coach’s Play Book, Praxis Press, USA.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Emotional Leader Habits

About Dr. Mike Gosling

When an executive faces the challenge of improving their emotional intelligence and leader behaviour, I'm the guy they call to make sure it goes well. I have a 28 year track record helping 40+ influential executives worldwide measureably improve their emotional intelligence and communication skills that effectively contribute to the performance and culture of organisations.

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