Virgin Coconut Oil

coconut-oilEssential to emotional health is exercise and good nutrition. Since being diagnosed as a Type II Diabetic 0n May 29, 2011 at age 62, I have researched and taken lots of advice on how to reduce my blood sugar levels and improve my physical health. I now add a tablespoon of Banaban virgin coconut oil to my breakfast cereal.

It has become apparent that the growth of Virgin Coconut Oil and other Nature Pacific coconut food products has more than doubled in demand and popularity. It’s so good to see that here in western society we are finally starting to experience the benefits of coconut in our daily diets.

We are often asked, ” Is the popularity of Coconut Oil a fad?” Well the definition of ‘fad’ is something that becomes popular for just a short time. I think what has become apparent to all our customers (and is what our people back in the Islands have known for centuries) is that coconut definitely becomes a part if not a necessity in everyday life. Some of our customers that have had to go overseas to work are even getting us to ship their Virgin Coconut Oil to the far ends of the earth so they do not have to go without.


5 Keys to Regroup in the Face of Failure

This guest post is by Carolyn B. Ellis of Brilliance Mastery.

Failure and rejection are tough pills to swallow. But sometimes they prove to be the best medicine in the long term.

Let me explain.

We live in a fast-moving, success-driven, “quick fix” oriented society. Encountering disappointment, under performance or outright failure it is something that can feel like a punch to the gut.

Perhaps you launched what you thought was an awesome program, but didn’t get the sign-ups you wanted. You booked the room for your workshop and only 2 people besides your mom showed up.

Maybe you did “all the right things” by your children, but one of them ends up hanging out with the wrong crowd and getting into trouble anyway.

Or you’ve just found yourself in the most amazing relationship, only to discover your partner has cold feet about taking things to the next level of connection.

In every sphere of life there will be moments where our conviction to stand confidently in our brilliance and stay true to our heart will be tested. If we’re not careful, the Gremlin I call “The Pushover” can show up to derail you.

The Pushover wants you to run for the hills and take cover in the safety of your normal routines. The Pushover takes the wind out of your sails to deter you from stepping boldly into a new ventures, relationships or experiences.

But having a strong Brilliance Backbone ™ means your Conviction vertebra is healthy and flexible so you can regroup after a setback. You are willing to stand your ground. It’s what helps you bring life to ideas or plans that fly in the face of conventional wisdom or criticism from naysayers.

To keep that Conviction part of your Brilliance Backbone ™ in strong working order, you need to regroup and do it quickly. Here are 5 keys to help you regroup from failure and turn setbacks into solid success.

Key #1 – Breathe
Dealing with failure or rejection feels like a threat to our safety at some level. So our good old “flight or fight” response gets triggered. With all that adrenalin rushing through our body it’s hard to think clearly about anything!

Taking some deep belly breaths for even just a minute will help short-circuit your reactivity that comes when our reptilian brain gets triggered. Deep breathing allows you to access your prefrontal cortex that governs your decision-making capabilities.

Key #2 – Regroup
The Chinese have a proverb – “Fall down seven times, get up eight.” When things don’t go as you’d planned, the ability to pick yourself up and keep on going is key.

Rather than see failure or disappointment as a sign from the Universe to stop altogether, view it as an opportunity to gather the additional wisdom and resilience you need to move more powerfully into lasting success. Choose to regroup, rather than stay stuck and gripe.

Key #3 – Pan Back and Get the Big Picture
You worked so hard, had such great intentions and yet you still got rejected. Sometimes the sting of failure feels so personal because the Pushover tends to lose sight of the big picture.

Imagine you’re the director of this movie called “Your Life” and it’s time to “Pan back” the cameras to get the wide-angle shot. Choosing to see the bigger picture helps you remember your vision, your Brilliant WHY. Connecting to who you’re meant to serve, or the love and truth you want to have in your life, can help get you ready and motivated to get back in the game.

Key #4 – The W-W-W Formula
Now that you’ve got the bigger perspective, it’s time to use the W-W-W Formula.

Objectively assess the following questions:
W – What worked?
W – What didn’t work?
W – What would you do differently the next time?

Engage your brilliant brain into answering these questions and just watch how quickly your Pushover gets crowded out of your awareness. These answers invoke rich, straight-forward insights and data points that will help you make needed course corrections.

Key #5 – Give Yourself Permission to Fail
Failure is a necessary ingredient of our brilliance and success. Let’s give up the need for perfectionism and the myth of instant success. What if Mother Nature had decided that evolution and natural selection weren’t such good ideas? Our world would be robbed of so much beauty and diversity if Mother Nature was a perfectionist, unwilling to experiment and evolve along the way.

Give yourself permission to fail. Make it your intention to fail quickly and often. That way you can gather up so much wisdom and polishing to take with you so you can step forward in greater strength and brilliance the next time.

** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.



As an internationally acclaimed business coach, author and media personality, Carolyn Ellis, the Official Guide to Entrepreneurs, has helped thousands of women reclaim their financial future and radically transform their lives.

Through her company, Brilliance Mastery, Carolyn has the privilege of helping brilliant women and conscious entrepreneurs reconstruct and realign their businesses in order to present their great work more clearly, powerfully and profitably to the world.

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The Importance of Sufficient Omega-3 Intake for Emotional Wellness

By Dr. Chestnut – Innate Choice®

The importance of sufficient omega-3 intake continues THROUGHOUT OUR ENTIRE LIFESPAN and so do the dangers of being deficient!

A relationship has been established between reduced levels of omega-3’s and central nervous system disorders such as Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, schizophrenia, depression and attention deficit hyperactive disorder. Research shows that depressive disorders and suicidal behaviors are associated with low levels of omega-3 and high levels of omega-6 fats. Supplementation with omega-3’s counteracts these terrible effects (Sublette, Am J Psychiatry, Jun 2006).

This might be explained by the fact that omega-3’s are credited with increasing levels of “feel-good” serotonin and “memory-boosting” acetylcholine (Singh, Indian J Pediatr., Mar 2005). Other studies indicate that high omega-3 intake might have protective properties against neurodegenerative diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer’s (Florent-Bechard, J Neurol Sci., Aug 2007).

More evidence that focusing on wellness and prevention is the only logical solution! When you are sufficient in what your body needs and avoid those things that are toxic, you will naturally gravitate towards health and vitality and away from illness. Getting and staying healthy is about making healthy choices – it’s that simple!

Omega 3 essential fatty acids (EFAs) play a role in virtually every human function including growth and development, digestion, brain and nerve function, immune function, hormone production and regulation, maintenance of skin and bones, regulation of healing and inflammation, heart function, vision, cholesterol levels, and even emotions and behaviour.

Read the complete article in Innate Choice Healthy News >>



Innate Choice® was founded by Dr. James Chestnut after over 25 years of research into the human requirements for health and wellness. As the son of a Ph.D. Fisheries Biologist, Dr. Chestnut is a wellness clinician and physiologist who has spent his entire life studying and exploring nature, ecosystems, and the health of the animals, especially humans, that inhabit them.

Power To Choose

In sowing emotional leadership you are choosing to give to others in a way that honors their right to be heard, validated, and respected. – Dr Mike Gosling

Sowing emotional leadership is trusting in your emotional abilities and competencies to make no-lose decisions that will serve you and all those with whom you come into contact. Sowing emotional leadership is behaving with emotional intelligence. In sowing emotional leadership you are choosing to give to others in a way that honors their right to be loved, respected, empowered, and treated with dignity. In respecting others you are giving in to yourself; an action of conscious choice making – the habit of emotional leadership.

Deepak Chopra (1996)[1], in describing the Law of Karma, says;

Karma is both action and the consequences of that action. It is cause and effect simultaneously – because every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind. There is nothing unfamiliar about the Law of Karma. Everyone has heard the expression, ‘what you sow is what you reap’. Obviously, if we want to create happiness in our lives, we must learn to sow the seeds of happiness. Therefore, karma implies the action of conscious choice making.

Whether you like it or not, everything that is happening at this moment is a result of the choices you’ve made in the past. Unfortunately, a lot of us make choices unconsciously, and therefore we don’t think they are choices – and yet, they are.

How often have your unconscious choices led you on the wrong path in your life? The place to begin is to define your path. Laurence (1990) [2] says;

Most of us have had a childhood of some confusion, misconception and insecurity. We either withdrew from, conformed to, or rebelled against life as we saw it. And we carry those patterns of behaviour and thinking into our adult lives. For the most part, we are living as a reaction to our childhood experiences and decisions. Our parents had their childhood influencing them! Round and round it goes unless we are freed from our past so that we can live freely in the present. It is ultimately our choice whether to stand still, or move forward in life. I sense that most people would choose an onward path – if only they knew how.

Conditioning has you entrapped in fixed patterns of thoughts, feelings, and actions. Events – people and circumstances – trigger automatic appraisals (auto-responders) in you that have not served you well. You have been programmed into making choices automatically. You are what you are today because of the choices you have made.

Whether you choose to go skydiving by jumping out of a plane at 10,000 ft, deep sea diving, traveling to exotic or dangerous places, or watch a love-story at the movies, you feel an emotion that has a positive or negative effect on your body. When you appraise something that is said to you as a manipulation, it will generate a different emotion in you than if you choose to accept it as a compliment.

Positive emotions will reduce your stress and help relax you physiologically. Negative emotions raise your stress levels and harm you physiologically. The resulting emotional constipation will stick with you as you hold your emotions in – refusing to experience them and let go. You will hold onto a sense of being stuck and unhappy with your life’s direction.

Power To Choose is about you regaining control over your thoughts and responses. Reframing your current thoughts, memory, values, beliefs, expectations, and predictions, in a way that your appraisal of them produces the response or reaction you want.

Power To Choose is you deciding to fully engage your emotional abilities to perceive, use, understand and manage your emotions intelligently. It’s about you empowering you. You have the power within you to make right choices in life. You choose who you want to be. You get to be whatever you choose to think.

Making no-lose decisions

“Be careful! You may make the wrong decision!”

Ever thought or heard this statement before?

One of your biggest fears is that you have made, or will make, a wrong decision.

Susan Jeffers (1987)[3] says;

The problem is that we have been taught, “Be careful! You might make the wrong decision!” A wrong decision! Just the sound of that can bring terror to our hearts. We are afraid that the wrong decision will deprive us of something – money, friends, lovers, status, or whatever the right decision is supposed to bring us.

Making decisions can be a stressful time for people as they weigh up the reasons “for” and “against” the choice they are about to make. You may even put off making a decision as a way of handling the stress of having to make it. Or to avoid hurting someone in whom you’ve placed your trust, or to whom you’ve made a commitment – especially if your decision now is to break that commitment. Eventually, making a decision is something you will need to do on your own, after taking into consideration all the advice you can gather.

Jeffers tells us that,

… all you have to do to change your world is change the way you think about it.” She presents decision making as a No-Win Model and a No-Lose Model seeing the Choice Point as where your inner voice rules – making it difficult to make a decision. The No-Win Model is where you are constantly reassessing your decision. Each choice seems to be a no-win choice. The multitude of choices that pop into your head, make it difficult to know which is the right choice. “Should I do this or should I do that? What if I go this way and that happens? What if it doesn’t work out the way I plan? What if …

no-lose-decisionsJeffers views the No-Lose Model as the way forward. “If you stand at the No-Lose Choice Point, your ‘fearless’ self takes over.” Making decisions using the No-Lose Model, is assisted by what you feel in your “gut” – in your abdomen. Trust your body in that it will tell you what it needs, to have absolute confidence in your ability to make decisions.

Making ‘right’ choices

Making ‘right’ decisions causes many people anxiety. How often have you weighed up all the ‘for and against’ factors before making a decision, and yet still not be completely sure that you have made the ‘right’ decision. You may ask yourself, “What if I’ve made a mistake? What if I should have chosen Path A instead of Path B”?

You will have heard the cliché, “If you’re not making mistakes now and then, you are not doing anything”. ‘Mistake’ is a label you always apply in retrospect. When you realize you could have done something more reasonable – even though, the decision was right at the time you made it. ‘Mistake’ is a label you apply to your behaviour at a later time, when your awareness has changed. How often have you heard someone say, “I have a gut feeling about this. I just know intuitively that it’s the right choice to make. It feels right.” This is your intuition speaking to you; your mind having an immediate insight to something. But it’s felt in your abdomen. You ‘know’ that you have made the right choice by the feeling inside you.

On making a ‘right’ choice, Chopra says,

When you make a choice – any choice at all – you can ask yourself two things: First of all, “What are the consequences of this choice that I’m making?” In your heart you will immediately know what these are. Secondly, “Will this choice that I’m making now bring happiness to me and to those around me?” If the answer is yes, then go ahead with that choice. If the answer is no, if that choice brings distress either to you or to those around you, then don’t make that choice. It’s as simple as that.

The emotional health challenge is about making healthy choices for your life. Sometimes it’s easier just to do nothing – or choose to do nothing! You get caught in the trap of it all being ‘too hard’. But with every choice you make you can create emotional health. Take action. Don’t wait for someone else to act, to help you. Otherwise, if you wait you will get pushed around. You see, there are two types of people – those who push and those who like to be pushed. Those who push see problems as a blessing. And if you have been blessed, be a blessing to others. Push forward with no lose decisions and exercise your gift of the power to choose.


[2]   Laurence, AM 1990, You’ve got what it takes. A Guide to self-discovery and effective living, Lotus Publishing House, Sydney, p. 4.

[3]   Jeffers, S 1987, Feel the fear and do it anyway, Random House, London. p. 111 – 117.

Personal Online Coaching

Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

Half the leaders I have met don’t need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop. – Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, Mentor

I hope that you are extremely successful, that life is all you’ve imagined it could be, and that you have emotional freedom and an invincible love of life.  I truly do!

If, on the other hand, you’re wanting some guidance to recognize, use, understand, and manage emotion and strengthen behaviors that may be stopping you from being where you want to be, let me assure you that the seeds of greatness are within you to be manifested now.  How can I know this?  Because the seeds of greatness are all around us. It is simply up to you to first believe that, and then to take the right action steps that will move you to the next level of where ever it is you want to go.  Emotion management and behavior change are perhaps the key – the most vital parts – of that process.

Let’s talk for a few minutes about some things you want:

  • You want to be a successful and effective leader.
  • You want to achieve personal and corporate goals leading your team through difficult challenges.
  • You want to earn a huge income to provide a comfortable lifestyle for you and your family.
  • You want recognition and affirmation of the good job you have done or are doing.
  • You want to be able to get along well with your colleagues at work and maintain good relations at home.
  • You want to fulfill your life goals with passion and purpose.

Personal Online Coaching will help you get everything you want! It combines research from my Ph.D. study into the emotional intelligence of managers in Singapore, plus evidence-based emotional intelligence constructs and cognitive-behavioral insights with practical, hands-on emotional know-how.  I’ve been through the ‘school of hard knocks’ too!  Plus you get all the resources available to you in the Emotional Leader website, including the coaching forum where your specific questions will be answered.

You know what?  You are much more capable than you think you are.  How do I know?  Because I’ve had to learn to stop annoying behavior to enjoy the success I have achieved.  I’m constantly testing and measuring what works and what doesn’t.  And if you’re prepared to follow The Emotional Leader Program (ELPro) for behavior change, you’ll discover the faster track to success as an emotional leader.  You will cultivate emotionally intelligent behavior for effective leadership.

The process that I will coach you through is the same one I have used with leaders in companies around the world.  This is a proven science-based process.  If you stick to my system, you will reach a new level of self-understanding and greater effectiveness in your personal and professional life.

By following a step-by-step process, my system will help you stop bad behavior once and for all and gain the confidence you need to create your vision, build your emotional leadership habits and live the lifestyle of your dreams.

Eight compelling reasons why you must choose
Personal Online Coaching!

Discover how to:

  1. RECOGNIZE EMOTION in yourself and others
  2. EXPRESS EMOTION using your emotional style
  3. GENERATE EMOTION to support thinking
  4. MATCH EMOTION to problem solve
  5. KNOW EMOTION to communicate awareness
  7. MANAGE EMOTION to influence others
  8. MASTER EMOTION to enjoy unlimited G.R.O.W.T.H.!

About Your Coach

A bit about me – Mike Gosling. I’m the founder of and my organization, Gosling International, the world’s fastest-growing provider of emotional leadership programs centered on applying your emotional intelligence to help you develop and use eight emotional leadership habits. The implementation of my coaching programs are guided by the stakeholder centered coaching practices of Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, one of the most well respected behavioral coaches and thinker on leadership in the world. I coach business owners, entrepreneurs, CEOs, senior level managers and staff in corporations, and individual professionals to strengthen their emotional intelligence and improve leadership behavior so they can fulfill their potential.

World renown behavioral coaches and mentors, Marshall Goldsmith, Frank Wagner and Chris Coffey and have written (2003):

The role of the coach has always been to get the best out of others’ performance, whether on stage, on the playing field, or in business. If leaders are to improve their own practice of leadership, they need leverage. A coach adds value to the degree that he, or she, can help the leader gain this leverage. Helping speed up the learning curve into productive behavior is the main value any coach can provide.

I have now personally coached and mentored more than 30 clients from different nationalities in Australia and South East Asia and taught hundreds of people in seminars and workshops. I’m now training emotional leaders globally to succeed through behavior change – To get from where you are to where you want to be! I call this the ELPro, which is based upon the principles of EASEQuadrant, a systematic method of learning to help you develop and practice emotional leadership habits.

[Leaders we admire] all build relationships and inspire us to give our best. Even though managers can be leaders it is not their managerial talent that inspires you to think of them as leaders. Usually, it is an interpersonal skill, a behavior that is expressed in such a way that it elicits our choice to follow, to be influenced, to admire unselfconsciously. – John Nirenberg (2003)

The Personal Online Coaching program, which is available online only through my website is an exclusive suite of resources that is making a positive, measurable, long-term difference in the lives of clients around the world. Will my next client be you?

If you prefer an online solution to your coaching needs, where you can speedily access your emotional intelligence tests and course material to work on in your own time and pace – this is it! I would feel excited and privileged to have you on board. My behavioral coaching program can help you manage your emotions, improve your leadership behavior, and guide you to achieve the success that you deserve and that has always been waiting for you.

My schedule is able to accept a limited number of committed, self-directed, and motivated people to work with me this year. Let’s get started immediately. I’m excited to work with you!