The Emotional Leader Program

The Emotional Leader Program (ELPro) is a simple doctrine or system of learning to develop emotional skills for positive, measurable, long-term behavioral change, applying your emotional intelligence.

The Emotional Leader Program specifically covers: understanding emotional style, increasing emotional knowledge for use in problem solving and decision-making, improving mood and job performance, developing self-management, and communicating effectively for increased relationship satisfaction, productivity and financial success.

In The Emotional Leader Program I coach you using stakeholder centered coaching practices learned from my mentor, Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, perhaps the most well respected leading behavioral coach in the world. And that always guarantees increased success and financial wealth!

There is a Science of Emotional Leadership – Emotional laws of personal and professional success. The Emotional Leader Program is the essence of this teaching.

The inspiration for The Emotional Leader Program  is drawn from principles encapsulated in the EASEQuadrant Model, an evidenced-based best practices model of emotional leadership developed by Dr. Gosling, drawn from scientifically researched emotional intelligence (EI) constructs and cognitive-behavioral insights.

Leadership is about building a feeling of long-term trust in relationships enabling the leader to influence others. Emotional leadership is choosing to behave with emotional intelligence; learning and applying emotionally intelligent behavior to build long-term trust in your business, professional and social relationships. As you exercise emotional leadership in your dealings with others, they will be drawn to you and follow your aspirations; your vision for a better life for you and for them. You will improve your level of self-understanding and greater effectiveness in your personal and professional life.

The Emotional Leader Program Coaching specifically targets behavioral change by:

  • understanding your emotional style
  • massively increasing emotional knowledge for use in problem solving and decision-making
  • using emotion to influence and improve thinking
  • improving job performance by being able to generate helpful moods
  • developing self-management and managing the emotions of others
  • communicating effectively for increased relationship satisfaction.

The purpose of my coaching is to guide you, the leader, to increase your emotional skills so that you choose the right goal —the right behavior to change. Your goal could be an increase in personal financial wealth or an increase in your contribution to an organization, or both. It could be a personal desire to head up a charitable initiative or to be a better partner, husband or wife. The benefits from carefully following the emotional leadership development process in ELPro Coaching are immediate, observable, measurable and enduring.

When you incorporate this knowledge in your emotional leadership habits it will give you the ability to be extraordinary and find clarity, purpose, happiness and abundance in your life. Emotional leadership habits will empower you change annoying behavior and create vastly improved relationships and unlimited wealth with EASE!

Leaders who understand how to influence and persuade masses of people are orchestrating themselves to develop their emotional leadership habits. And these habits will help position themselves at the head of a growing clan or tribe passionate about being completely aware of how they function emotionally.

Individuals and business owners that get this are making more money. They’re making their life easier for themselves and their teams. But most of all — they’re increasing their financial wealth by choosing emotionally intelligent behavior over controlling behavior.


The Emotional Leader Program gives you the most subtle form of inner power. But it is not just for your emotional management. ELPro empowers you to manage the emotions of others to attain influence and real-world results in every area of your life. Everything in life is about how you feel. If you feel mostly positive emotions, that’s a non-problem status. Get on and enjoy your life and the fruits of your lifetime achievements. But if you feel mostly negative emotions, and many people do, then these feelings will directly impact on your daily ability to function – be it in the home, community or workplace. That’s when ELPro can be your preferred system to strengthen emotional leader habits!


For many people their one goal is a to have happy, harmonious family life where parents, children and extended family are engaged with each other. When you are happy in your home life you will not be bringing stress to work!

For other people, their primary goal is to get money. Lots of money! Everyone wants to be wealthy. Without money you can’t move! If you have money you can have whatever you want, do whatever you want, go whereever you want. Maybe you want a happy and secure family and the best education for your children, or you want a cruising holiday, or be secure knowing your living expenses and insurance policies are taken care of? But if you have lots of money – that is, you are financially wealthy – you can give away your money to others and help them to be financially wealthy.

So there’s nothing wrong with being financially wealthy is there? It means that once your family is secure, you can give away generous amounts of money to a noble cause and help empower others. My wife and I are doing this through our charitable initiative – The Bula

Emotional wealth can bring you financial wealth. With sound emotional leadership you are sowing positive, long-term, trusting relationships – Just what you need for building effective relationships in your family, regular employment, professional careers and business organizations to make money to become financially wealthy. You are following me here?

So you can see that emotional leadership leads to emotional wealth and is intrinsically tied to financial wealth, causing people to be successful in their careers and their business profits to flourish. And emotional wealth belongs to financial wealth by its very nature. YOU ARE FREE TO ENJOY BOTH! ELPro is a system of learning lasting behavioral change to increase your emotional and financial wealth!

Get started with your Emotional Intelligence Assessment today  >>

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Discover Powerful Lessons In Personal Change!


Want to be an effective successful leader?

You understand about emotional intelligence and recognize how important it is for leadership. You know that organizations want people who are emotionally intelligent and not just those with a high IQ. You also know that you are going to have to do things differently or you will lose the respect of others.

But you recognize that you have one or two behaviors that you want to correct, such as your impulsive anger, irritation or frustration at people who don’t see things the way you do or who get in your way.

Or perhaps you just want to get on better with people and not get them off-side. Maybe you freeeze up when you need to give a presentation. You may like your work, but are not proud of the way you are working – your short temper, bluntness or overall conduct. Perhaps you don’t suffer fools gladly!

My program will give you the emotional skills you never learned in any formal leadership course to better manage your behavior. Leadership is relationship. But while it’s all well and good ‘knowing’ what leadership is, it’s something else to be in control of your emotions and be able to use them to lead and empower others.

First you must build a trusting relationship with your followers through being predictable and wise and they will respond because they know, like and trust you.

I am passionate about emotional leadership. I believe it is the secret to empowered leadership. The process that I will coach you through is the same one I have used with leaders in companies around the world. This is a proven science-based process. If you stick to my system, you will reach a new level of self-understanding and greater effectiveness in your personal and professional life.

The Emotional Leader Program (ELPro) will help you gain the discipline to achieve positive, measurable, long-term improvement in your own leadership behavior – and help you be more successful than you already are. You’ll also discover the fast track to reducing your stress and improving your emotional health. And you will become unconsciously skilled at applying your emotional intelligence.

Once you have mastered your own behavior, only then will you be equipped to lead and influence others, taking them to new heights.

I’m not talking about some old ideas you’ve already heard before. I’m talking about finding just one annoying habit – one small flaw – that’s keeping you from where you want to be and getting it fixed so you are back on track and no longer held back from achieving your desired goal.

I have now personally coached and mentored clients from different nationalities worldwide. I’m now training emotional leaders globally to succeed through behavior change – To get from where you are to where you want to be!

ELPro combines research from my Ph.D. study into the emotional intelligence of managers, evidence-based emotional intelligence constructs, and cognitive-behavioral insights, PLUS practical hands-on emotional know-how learned through life’s experiences. Coaching clients will have access to my online coaching resources at and my extensive emotional development resources at

The best way to learn anything is through experience. The discipline that is embedded within the leaders I coach is equally relevant in my own behavior. In simple terms – What is good for you is good for me. You will gain the confidence you need through step-by-step actions to choose the right goal, change your perceptions, build your emotional leadership habits and live the lifestyle of your dreams.

Here are eight compelling reasons why you must choose ELPro.

Discover how to develop these personal habits:

  1. Recognize emotion in yourself and others
  2. Express emotion using your emotional style
  3. Generate emotion to support thinking
  4. Match emotion to problem solve
  5. Know emotion to communicate awareness
  6. Predict emotion change
  7. Manage emotion to influence others
  8. Master emotion to enjoy unlimited G.R.O.W.T.H.!

If you want to effectively manage your emotions and be massively successful through applying your emotional intelligence – call me now: +61. 412. 069. 460.

My schedule is able to accept a limited number of committed, self-directed, and motivated people to work with me this year. To become a client and possibly work with me, complete and submit your application form for my Emotional Leader Professional Coaching Programs. We’ll get started immediately.

The adventure ahead will be fun, challenging, and most importantly, will give you the emotional skills that you will need throughout your career to lead and influence behavioral change in followers to go further, try harder, and do better than anyone ever thought possible.

I wish you great success,

Mike Gosling Ph.D.
Emotional Leader Coach

Is Optimism Contagious?

This guest post is by Dr. Marshall Goldsmith of Leading News.

In the past I’ve talked about the value of optimism in life and at work, how the two intersect, and different challenges that crop up to sway even the most confident and consistent optimists. I examined a high-ranking executive who’d had some setbacks, but was able to get over them, excel further than another, shall we say, crabbier personality, and create significant value for his organization and workforce.

What’s interesting about this is that many of us are already irrepressible optimists, at least when the subject is ourselves. Psychologists call this “optimism bias,” and it’s one of the more well-researched concepts in behavioral economics. When people judge their chances of experiencing a good outcome — landing a big account, getting promoted, having a successful marriage, making a good financial investment — they estimate their odds to be better than average. When they consider the chances of something bad happening — losing a big account, getting fired, getting divorced — they assume odds lower than what they estimate for others.

Optimism bias inflates our self-confidence. It is the reason 90 percent of drivers think they’re above average behind the wheel of a car. It’s why some years ago when my two partners and I estimated our individual contributions to our partnership, the total came to more than 150 percent. It’s why almost all newlyweds believe there is zero chance their marriage will end in divorce, even when they know 50 percent of marriages self-destruct. This is true even for the newly remarried, who have already been divorced. It’s the reason most smokers, despite the surgeon general’s warning on every pack of cigarettes, believe they are less likely to die of lung cancer than most nonsmokers. Their optimism extends to believing they are better than others at cheating death.  It’s the reason new restaurants in big cities continue to open, despite well-documented failure rates as high as 90 percent. Restaurateurs know the numbers, but they do not think they apply to them.

Successful people also tend to be optimists. That’s a good thing too. Without it, people wouldn’t get married, or plunge their life savings into a start-up business, or devote 10 years of research to developing a cancer drug. A society that doesn’t take risks based on optimism is doomed.

But something happens to our optimism when we stop evaluating ourselves and begin evaluating our peers’ chances of succeeding. We’re not as optimistic when we take ourselves out of the equation. In fact, we can become pessimists and cynics. As evidence, gauge your level of optimism when you present one of your cherished ideas in a meeting. It should be high, or how else would you have the courage to air the idea in public? Compare that to your level of optimism when an arch-rival presents his or her best idea in the same meeting. It’s probably not as high.

You may greet the idea with skepticism, perhaps cynicism. You’ll compare its value to your idea and find it wanting. Part of this is predictable envy and competitiveness; we don’t mind a rival succeeding, but not more than us or at our expense. Part of it is the difficulty in being optimistic about someone else’s abilities where we have no control over the outcome. But much of it is simply our failure to be generous in extending our optimism to others. That’s the downside of optimism bias. We may see everything that could go wrong with the other person’s idea while remaining blind to what could go wrong with ours. It’s not a quality that we should hang on to.

If we can take the positive spirit inside us toward what we are doing now and extend it to what other people are doing — in other words, make our optimism contagious — then each of us has a better chance of becoming a person who can rise from a setback that might crumble others, a manager who doesn’t yield to the standard cynicism and negativity, and a leader whom others will follow.

Join Marshall and other speakers at the World Business and Executive Coach Summit 2013  >>


Dr-Marshall-GoldsmithDr. Marshall Goldsmith was recently recognized as the #1 leadership thinker in the world and the #7 business thinker in the world at the bi-annual Thinkers 50 ceremony sponsored by the Harvard Business Review.  He is the million-selling author or editor of 31 books, including the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers, MOJO and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There – a WSJ #1 business book and winner of the Harold Longman Award for Business Book of the Year.  His books have been translated into 28 languages and become bestsellers in eight countries.

Originally published in Talent Management

Recognize The Pain Time Line

Pain perception is about how appraisal triggers arousal (emotional response) in your body. Deepak Chopra explains that cognitive appraisal in the brain arouses only two impulses—pain or pleasure.

We all want to avoid pain and experience pleasure.  Therefore, all the complicated emotional states we find ourselves in are because we are unable to obey these basic drives. [1]

Pleasure seems to be managed well by most people and is a non-problem status. Pain though is any unpleasant sensory and emotional experience.  Acute pain is a normal sensation triggered in the autonomic nervous system to alert you to a possible injury.  Chronic pain refers to discomfort relating to injury, disease or emotional distress. Chronic pain persists and may exist in the absence of any past physical injury or body damage.

Examples of chronic pain include; arthritis pain, cancer pain, headache, lower back (coccyx) pain, and pain from damage to the central nervous system itself.

Pain felt in the body can be depicted on a pain time-line.


Although pain affects your body’s responsiveness, its overall impact on you lies within you. Your perceptions therefore, are crucial in pain management.

All pain is felt in the body in the present—today. You cannot physically feel something yesterday or tomorrow. You can remember the pain of the past or anticipate a pain in the future, but you can only feel pain in the present.

  • For example;

Where were you, what did you feel, and what you do when you first heard the news of the September 11, 2001 disaster in New York, USA—the October 12, 2002 bombing in Bali, Indonesia—the train bombing in Madrid, Spain on March 11, 2004?  What did you feel over the next two to three days after each event?  Did your body feel normal?  What do you feel today when you recall those events?

All emotion is felt in the present at various levels of intensity; low, medium and high. Each time you experience a negative emotion—such as a hurt in the present, anger or resentment from a memory of the past, or fear and anxiety from perceived pain in the future—you are adding to your store of stress. The stronger (higher the intensity) you feel an emotion in your body, the greater the amount of stress and adrenalin that accumulates in your body.

Deepak Chopra explains the cycle of emotions that begins in the present (reality)—where only pain and pleasure are felt—and ends in complex emotions centered exclusively in the past, such as, guilt and depression (our perceived reality).

The cycle that gets repeated countless times in everyone’s life is as follows:

  • Pain in the present is experienced as hurt.
  • Pain in the past is remembered as anger.  Anger starts with an internal or external event and is the subjective experience of physiological arousal (stress response) to negative appraisal of the event.
  • Pain in the future is perceived as anxiety—a lessening of mental relaxation, associated to the alert reaction.  Fear, and its manifestation, anxiety, is a painful emotion caused by impending danger or an evil event—a state of alarm, dread of something, or anxiety (extreme worry) over life changes.
  • Unexpressed anger—redirected against you and held within—is called guilt.
  • The depletion of energy that occurs when anger is redirected inward creates depression (Principle 62).

The cycle of emotion tells us that stored hurt is something we all have experience of to some degree, and is responsible for considerable adrenalin arousal. Chopra argues that, “Buried hurt disguises itself as anger, anxiety, guilt, and depression.” To live in the present we need to learn to avoid the easy emotion—anger, and deal with the hurt that is more difficult to confront.  Unresolved anger will only grow worse, feeding on itself.

Sometimes you can cause another person pain by what you do or say. This external event may be intentional or unintentional, and may also create a pain for you; guilt, remorse, shame, and regret—that is, stress. For example, people who use ineffective communication (Principle 39) often drag up “history” in arguments to hurt their partner. Their perception is that their partner has hurt them or is “blaming” them in some way. They are using a conditioned response, to ease their own pain felt in the present—not realizing the physiological impact their behavior is having on their own body.

Pain is communicated to others through language, posture, withdrawal, and abuse, including physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. In an integrated model of the cognitive, affective, and physiological aspects of emotion, pain is manifested as negative emotion (accumulated stress) and can lead to nervous illness.

[1]        Chopra, D 1993, Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, New York, Harmony Books, p. 186.

How Do You Deal With Your Emotions?

Emotions are bodily signals that alert you to changes in your internal or external environment. Emotions are feelings with thoughts attached to them.

Your interpretation or appraisal of your feeling in your body gives rise to an emotion. This is what I describe as EAR—Identity: Event—Appraisal—Response. Each event in your life is appraised in the GAP between event and response. Positive appraisals are a non-problem status—Emotion is regarded as “normal”. Negative interpretations cause your body to experience nervous arousal—emotional constipation!

You react to negative emotion somewhere along a “pain time-line”, where anger is at one end and anxiety at the other. If you have an avoidant emotional style you will feel more anxiety, fear and bewilderment than most people. If you have a reactive emotional style you will feel predominantly emotions of anger, frustration and resentment.

At either end of the “pain time-line” you will experience severe nervous arousal (adrenalin floods) which will promote ruminating over thoughts, worrying incessantly, avoiding situations and people that give you pain or reacting in a way that impacts adversely on others.

Dr. Robert L. Leahy of The American Institute for Cognitive Therapy has given us a schema of how our emotions can lead us down different paths. How do you deal with your emotions? Are they a non-problem status for you or do you ruminate over things or perhaps binge drink to deal with bad feelings? Please comment below.